A new meaning to the word IMpossible

So I've had my mind going in all sorts of directions today. Over thinking stuff, which is probably not the smartest thing to do and some things barely giving thought to at all. Again...probably not a great thing!! Anyway, I was definitely challenged today and although I badly wanted to voice my very strong opinion of the matter, I refrained!! Whoop whoop!! I'm actually getting better at that.

I get home earlier in the day and open my email and start reading a daily devotion I get sent to me. SLAP right upside my head!! I realized that I can't do things on my own. Things look sometimes impossible when I'm trying to do it all. Then I read some verses. " I AM the way, I AM the truth, I AM the life". So IMpossible, if you put a apostrophe in the middle of the first 2 letters is I'M which stands for I AM. Hmmm.... Now there's a thought for ya!! He is possible in ALL things. I'M-possible seems so much easier looking at it that way. God is the great I AM. Therefore He is my possibility for hope and healing in anything.

So to quote my devotion: I suspect many of us have things in our life that feel impossible. Maybe you just got some bad news. News of an impossible financial situation. News of an impossible job situation. News of an impossible kid situation. News of an impossible friend situation. News of an impossible medical situation.

I AM WITH YOU.

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

Don't be stuck

Ya know, this weekend has had me do a lot of thinking. ( no comment ) we tend to go along in our daily lives and take every little detail for granted. Waking up and getting to take a breath in the morning. Hearing every little noise as loud as can be or as quiet as a whisper. Walking from one place to another. The movement of every muscle in our bodies, and then BAM you are in a situation and thanking God is all you can do. You get my gist. Anyway, we aren’t promised the next day, hour, minute or even second. So every day should be lived for the One who actually allows all of this for us. I mean it is the least we can do right? He died for me…I can at least show gratitude for the smallest and biggest of things.

We have been talking at church about being UNSTUCK. Unstuck in relationships, finances, work, friendships, etc. We sang Our God today. If you don’t know it…you need to. I love the lyrics. My favorite lyric is “ And if our God is for us than who could ever stop us and if our God is with us than what could stand against”. After this weekend and everything that has happened or things to happen in the future…I know that with MY GOD..nothing can stand against me. Nothing will bring me down. I have complete trust and faith in Him that whatever will be will be and He is all I need and all I seek. I do and I will thank Him in ALL things.

So say hello to the new me.

The preacher man said today...you may be STUCK with someone, but you don't have to STICK with them. :) Couldn't have said it better myself!! :)

Running the Race

So many things are going through my head but when I sit down to actually type something out, it's as if I can't think of anything. I always seem to do a devotion while I am sitting in line to pick up my kids from school. I don't know why but sitting there with the sun beaming in my window, I can feel the warmth from it and for some reason it makes me feel God is right there.

So I am reading my devotion titled Christ In Us. OUCH. The title in itself is enough to make you think. But it talks about a man who does a Triathlon. Obviously, I am not a person who knows what this consists of but let me tell you.....its a 2.4 mile swim, a 112 mile bike ride and a 26.2 mile run. HOLD UP.....ARE YOU KIDDING ME????? Not for me in anyway!! :) Anyway it goes on to say that it was not easy for him to accomplish. But he did it and completed it while doing it all with his disabled son. (lump in throat) When he swam, he pulled his son in a boat. When he cycled, he had his son on the bike. When he ran, he pushed his son in a wheel chair. His son could not have finished this race had he not been so dependent on his father. WOW!! Not only is he trying to finish this race for himself but he's got all that extra weight behind him.

Our lives are such a replica of this father and son in our own Christian life and walk with God. He is so dependent on his dad just the same as we are dependent on God. We have all this weight draggin behind us. When will we completely "get it" and just allow God to help us? When will we say, " God I can't do this on my own and please forgive me for thinking that I could." Fully rely on Him and let Him do what He has promised us. We are running the christian race each and every day and can't complete it without depending on God to help us along to cross the finish line. We try every day to live pleasing to Him. I don't know about you but I totally stumble and fall short pretty much daily. If I were to be in this race alone....absolutely impossible. I am so glad to know that God is on my team and running this same race with me the only thing is...is that he's already crossed the finish line and won the race for me. We cannot run this race alone...we have to rely on God to see us through it. Jesus living in us makes it that much easier.

"Faith connects our weakness to God's strength."
I am weak, for He is strong.

"Sticks and Stones"

So we have all heard at some point in our lives the age old words, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me”


Words that we say will always have an affect on others. We can encourage and strengthen others with positive words but when we use negative words towards others it only brings them down and can sometimes harm them. It is in our human nature to speak negative words, whereas using positive words towards people takes an actual deliberate decision.
The Bible tells us to use our words wisely. Ephesians 4:29 says, "DO not use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them." Like I said before, it is our human nature that we speak negative because it has to be a deliberate decision to speak positive. How sad is that? I mean when someone is in the 20 items or less Wal-Mart line with a buggy full of groceries and you “abide” with only a handful of things,admit it, our first reaction is not a good one. Especially if we are in any kind of hurry. We react with “OMG, can this lady not read the sign???” It is quicker and easier to react in a negative way.
I have been reading in Proverbs lately. Proverbs 10:19 says, "When words are many sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise." So when you hold your tongue you usually can catch yourself before saying something nasty and hurtful to others that may cut them down.
I have been told that I don’t confront conflict but it is because I don’t like it. What does it accomplish? Eventually when that happens, negative comes from it.



Whatever we say is a reflection of our heart attitude. WOW, maybe even OUCH! “For out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks” (Matthew 12:34) So our mouths speak the overflow of what our heart is really saying. If we think poorly of someone, we will speak poorly of him or her. Our words carry power so we need to remember to use our words wisely.

Lean on Me

Ok. It's been a long time since I've blogged but I have a heavy heart tonight and decided to get some things off my chest. Growing up my mom and dad did what they could to provide for us. It wasn't always easy due to my dad being born without sight. He really couldn't keep a job of any kind or his handicap made it harder for him to even get one. We moved alot growing up. Alot of times people would ask us if we were "military brats" after telling people how many times we moved states. The reason being was that my mom took any teaching job she could to keep our family provided for. Thanks mom, now as an adult and mother, I know what that means.

My husband on the other hand didn't have that lifestyle. He grew up on a farm in a very small town. Both his parents were able to work and have worked for the same company for most of their lives. Now, my husband is being told his fate with his work. He has worked for the same company for 20 years now and for some reason they seem fit to let his position no longer exist. What does that mean for us? Well, for one, we are faced with so many decisions that as an adult I didn't think I would have to make. I now know what my mom felt. I have to sit with my husband and children and tell them that we have to move. I know the feeling they will have as a child being told this. The " we can't move, what about me and my friends" , "what about school". I know the questions that they will have....I had the same ones. Whether they are as innocent as "will the dog go with us" to as grown up as.. "what do I do since I'm entering junior high next year", they will all be the same level as importance to each of them. I know now what my mom had to face. I know what my mom felt as she had to tell us once again we were moving. It wasn't her choice to do it...it was the only choice she had, to provide.

I have been involved in a bible study group lately and tonight...the night before my husbands big job announcement it says...."Pray this week that the Lord will open your eyes to his next renovation project. Then ask God to give you the humility to accept the truth and a teachable heart toward the changes you must make." WOW. I've come along way in "learning" to lean on God through EVERYTHING. Giving everything to God is hard to do. Sometimes I think of it as a sign of weakness on my behalf. 'I can't handle it so let me just opt out and give it to Him.' The crazy thing is ......He WANTS us to. WOW...again. It is amazing to think that someone you can't see sitting right beside you just "deals" with your problems for you. I mean how much easier can it get for us?? Whatever the outcome, job or none, I am leaning on God. Only He can carry us through. Not friends, family, co-workers, just Him. We will over come this. You can't overcome something until you've gone through it first.

I don't know what my future has in store for my family but I choose to lean on Him and allow him to guide us where He sees fit. I pray for His will not mine. I pray for the peace and understanding in everything that happens.

Man vs. Woman!

So, I am sitting outside with my husband and some good friends of ours. Like always we got on to the topic of what is "womans" work and what is "mens" work. Needless to say, neither one of us thought the other was right! I mean the men argue that women are the ones to do laundry, cook, clean and pretty much everything that is inside the house and anything outside is "mans" work. Well, are you in the house ever? Are you dirtying a dish? Are you sleeping in a bed that needs made? I mean if you are not doing any of the above then you need not to worry, but if any of the above or any that I have not mentioned apply to you than I would say....hmmmm you need to help. It is just funny to me that they think they are the only ones who do anything and don't get appreciated for it. AWWWW!!!!

"How many fire trucks does it take to make a tragedy?"

I can't help but feel overwhelmed the last couple days. We have had a little boy in our daycare whose house burned down and they have lost everything. It is our job to take care of these kids day by day as they are one of our own, so you can't help but to get attached to them.

When I heard about this tragedy for their family, my immediate thought was, " I want to do something for them." We as a center got a gift basket for him with a couple sets of clothes, pj's, bubble bath and a few toys for him to play with as they had only managed to get out one of his blankets.

When he was told of his house, he reacted like any other 4 year old boy would. "How many fire trucks came to my house?" Oh my gosh, how innocent is that? He didn't worry about "things." He knew that things could be replaced but people couldn't. As adults we worry about what needs replaced. We have had people step up and give whatever they could. You would not believe the appreciation his parents have felt. They are like our family too.

I have been humbled by this and realize how much we probably take for granted. So, my prayer for them is to come together as a family and know that God is and will always be there even at their darkest time. They will overcome this...God will see to it. You can't overcome til you have gone thru something. I pray that I have some of his innocence and not take what I have for granted. Thank you God for blessing my family.

Friendship

I remember when I would sit and pick colors to braid together to make the "perfect" bracelet for a friend. It had to be just right!

I am so grateful for all the friends in my life. My life is full of love, happiness and laughter. My friends keep me grounded and true to myself. I never have to be anyone but me. They stick with me no matter what. True friends are hard to come by and when you find them you never want to lose them.

I found a saying, "We are all angels with only one wing...we can fly only embracing each other." How true. If I didn't have my friends in my life I couldn't fly! Thanks to all of you who help me fly!

Sibling Rivalry or Brotherly Love?!?!

Ok. I've told some people this story already but I want to share it with the others. My daughter is almost 10 and she has got a teenage attitude already! My son is 6 and just looks up to his big sisters so much. I don't know who has a sibling but if you do than you will relate to my story. Growin up my oldest sister and I hated each other...not really but back then we sure thought we did and all I can remember is my dad tellin us both that he was gonna buy us boxing gloves, put us both out in the back yard and let us go at each other til one went down. Apparantly they got tired of hearing us argue ALL THE TIME!!!

Well, now that I have children of my own, I am living what my parents did. My daughter acts like she hates my son ALL THE TIME. From the minute her eyes pop open in the morning til the time they shut at night she throws him down to the curb. She yells at him constantly, and acts like he is annoying. And all he does is keep coming back and loves her even more...like a dog who is loyal to its owner!

Well, Saturday night my son lost one of his bouncy balls down our sewer drain outside our house and he thought the world came to an end. So we went to Walmart the next day and got some stuff to eat for lunch and he took his own money to buy him another ball. While he was in the toy section he told Jason he wanted 2 balls. His words were this "Daddy, I want to buy Macey a ball too, I love her and I want her to love me and just want to make her happy" I mean does that not tear your heart apart. He just loves her so much no matter how she treats him. I cried thinking to myself that I did something right, to where he thinks of others and not only himself. I mean I know that alot of it is just being siblings but my gosh somebody tell me that it will get better!!!!!! PLEASE!!!!

"Play Ball"

K... so here it is the first of summer and ball is almost over. I liked it better when it was cooler outside and we played. I'm not one who likes being hot. Then I think of my daughter who plays EVERY weekend. She plays catcher and let me just say she is pretty darn good at it! That girl ain't gonna let nobody steal on her. But back to this heat thing....here I am complaining it's hot outside and she's got all this equipment on her and a catchers helmet...and I'm hot???

This weekend we play State and I am excited about it. I want our girls to come out on top...I tend to be a little competitive when it comes to ball! Yes, I am the mom who argues with the ump cuz he's blind and cannot clearly see that my daughter made the tag! Ok...back up...I USED to be that mom! Over time I have learned to keep my mouth shut but let me tell ya, I may slip every once in a while and tell them what I think. I mean, once...I had a parent on the opposite team tell me to shut the ?@#* up and sit down. OH NO THEY DIDN'T!!!

I have come a long way since that episode! Until we were in a tournament a couple weekends ago and I had to clearly voice my opinion! I let the coaches know what I thought too!!! Needless to say, she is still on the team!!!! So...LOOK OUT TEAMS HERE WE COME!!! Can't wait til we go to World Series in July!!!

WHY??

I've blogged about my dad before and I promise I won't dwell but I found a post on my old computer that I thought I would share.

There are things in my life that are now gone but not forgotten. So many things have happened in my life that I cannot share with those I'd like to. My dad is the first in my life to say goodbye. He left me at such a young and desperate time in my life. But it was in Gods hands and he needed him more than I did. I often question the reason as to why he had to leave and sometimes I think I have it figured out when it's at that moment that something happens or said for me to turn around and re-ask that familiar question again. WHY?

Do you suppose that God ever gets tired of hearing that same question over and over and over again? I mean, I am a mother and often get aggravated at listening to my children ask me why when I give them the answer to a question. They will ask " can so and so come over", I say no and their reaction is always the same....WHY???? "Because I said so that's why!!"

It is then when we feel they should just understand and let it go. So do you think that when we ask God over and over again that same old question, WHY and he tells us that it is because he says so that we should just say "OK" and understand it and leave it at that?

Face vs. Floor

K...so I have to tell this funny story about my husband! Picture it...Memorial Day Weekend. We had ALOT of people at my house for a get together. Lots of fun, friends, games and just hangin out like we do most weekends. We started things off around 1ish. People started to taper off around 10:00. By 10:45 it's just me and the fam. My son had exhausted himself so much that he had passed out spread eagle on the couch. My oldest daughter was pecking away on the computer. I decided to sit in the comfy chair and kick up my feet and watch a little tv. While at the same time my husband decides he is calling it quits as well. He on the other hand thinks it to be more comfortable to sit on our bar stool. Well...he should have re-thought that decision. I noticed myself dozing off and on. So I look at him to see if he is still awake...to my surprise...or not, he had the same thing in mind too. His dozing got the best of him tho! I had dozed off so soundly when I was awaken to the sound that I can only describe as "splat" The next thing my eyes see is my husband on all fours. My daughter yells at him "what is wrong with you", I just see him on his hands and knees. The floor had had it's way with him. He had fallen asleep so soundly that he fell to the floor and hit the floor with his face! There was a little bit of blood and alot of confusion. He didn't think it was quite as funny as I did. I mean lets face it...who falls face first to the floor out of the chair??? I even woke up laughing at him. In the books it says "pride cometh before the fall" but in his case it is the other way around. The fall came before his pride. He wore a cap to work for a week to hide his battle wound! Oh the fun I had with him!!!

"What a Day"

So, I'm feeling a little deep today. I attended yet another funeral today, this time not my immediate family but for someone who is close to my heart. My brother in law lost his dad. I can totally relate to what he feels as I lost my dad when I as 16. People talked about how Godly he was and how he never missed an opportunity to talk to someone about God. Two years ago he lost his mom. I was asked by her sons if I would sing for her funeral. I did. I have sang at weddings, church functions, school functions but never at a funeral. All I could think about was the emotion that came with losing a loved one, let alone a parent. I prayed over and over for God to allow me to get through the song without breaking down. I managed to pull it off and at the same time felt peace doing it. When we got the news about his dad, I felt their pain once again. This time he has to bury his dad. I mean you dont think as a kid that you will bury your parents but to have to bury both is unimaginable to me. So, once again I sang for the funeral. The boys requested that I sing the song I sang for their moms. "What a Day That Will Be".... I don't know if you know the lyrics to the song...but I was in my car on the way home from and exhausting day and was singing the lyrics outloud to myself. Just me in the car by myself. And it was then that it hit me. "What a day that WILL be." I mean think for a minute. All our loved ones who have passed before us are enjoying life to their very fullest and we are here on earth thinking we are. Not at all...we may be living a good life or even a great life, but think about what they get. I can't imagine the feeling of being reunited with my dad, my papa, my granny. I mean I can only imagine the stories being told between Paul's parents and my family about us girls!! I often envy people who still have both parents. My dad has missed out on so much. WAIT...let me rephrase that one....we have missed out on so much. He's got everything. We are the ones who are missing out...not him. My kids never knew him. My husband never met him. I think of all that has happened in our lives and think of how he would be so proud. But to think that he can see all the glory of God right now is the most I would ever want for him. I miss them all so much and it hurts still to this day. But when we are reunited....."WHAT A DAY THAT WILL BE"

So I'm at my sons K-5 graduation. I am waiting on all the classes to come in and I am literally thinking to myself..."I am not gonna cry." Then here they come in single file, and he enters the room so proud. And yes, I lost it. I look at him and think of how it felt like just yesterday I was being handed this small, sweet, innocent little boy whom I was supposed to lead and teach. He stands on the bleachers so proud and smiling as he sings the songs he has been taught. He is waving at me in the crowd. The things going through his mind is whether or not me and daddy are going to be proud of him for learning all those songs. He has no clue. He has no idea that it's not me teaching him but rather him teaching me. He teaches me to laugh...everyday...he teaches me to look at things with an open mind. Everyday that goes by he is teaching me a lesson and I am not done learning yet.

My daughter Macey is my oldest. I remember the day she came into my life. I was scared to death. I thought that I would never be able to love her like my parents loved me. I was so wrong on that one. I love her more than life itself. I never exactly new what unconditional love was til I met that little girl. I knew from the moment she was put into my arms that she could never do or say anything to me that would make me stop loving her. She often gets left out since she is the oldest and can do more things for herself but when she does things I often think to myself that she is on her way to not needing me to do for her. If I could just stop time and make them stay the way they are right now and never leave me...I would. I never want to be apart from them. I love them both more than anything in this world. I couldn't imagine life without them.

Well that is about enough mushy mommy talk. But I just had a great time with them and made me realize how much I really do love them both. My next blog won't be so mushy!! UGH!!!

New to the Blogging!

I'm new to this whole blog thing. I have always wanted to blog but never had the courage to do it. I use the word courage because I am not one to sit and write down my thoughts because I worry about what people will say...plus if my mother, the english teacher, would read it she would just correct my grammar!!! But I found out that one of my friends is a blogger, so I thought...WHY NOT?!?!? I have alot to say. So stay tuned cuz this is gonna get really good!!!