Lean on Me

Ok. It's been a long time since I've blogged but I have a heavy heart tonight and decided to get some things off my chest. Growing up my mom and dad did what they could to provide for us. It wasn't always easy due to my dad being born without sight. He really couldn't keep a job of any kind or his handicap made it harder for him to even get one. We moved alot growing up. Alot of times people would ask us if we were "military brats" after telling people how many times we moved states. The reason being was that my mom took any teaching job she could to keep our family provided for. Thanks mom, now as an adult and mother, I know what that means.

My husband on the other hand didn't have that lifestyle. He grew up on a farm in a very small town. Both his parents were able to work and have worked for the same company for most of their lives. Now, my husband is being told his fate with his work. He has worked for the same company for 20 years now and for some reason they seem fit to let his position no longer exist. What does that mean for us? Well, for one, we are faced with so many decisions that as an adult I didn't think I would have to make. I now know what my mom felt. I have to sit with my husband and children and tell them that we have to move. I know the feeling they will have as a child being told this. The " we can't move, what about me and my friends" , "what about school". I know the questions that they will have....I had the same ones. Whether they are as innocent as "will the dog go with us" to as grown up as.. "what do I do since I'm entering junior high next year", they will all be the same level as importance to each of them. I know now what my mom had to face. I know what my mom felt as she had to tell us once again we were moving. It wasn't her choice to do it...it was the only choice she had, to provide.

I have been involved in a bible study group lately and tonight...the night before my husbands big job announcement it says...."Pray this week that the Lord will open your eyes to his next renovation project. Then ask God to give you the humility to accept the truth and a teachable heart toward the changes you must make." WOW. I've come along way in "learning" to lean on God through EVERYTHING. Giving everything to God is hard to do. Sometimes I think of it as a sign of weakness on my behalf. 'I can't handle it so let me just opt out and give it to Him.' The crazy thing is ......He WANTS us to. WOW...again. It is amazing to think that someone you can't see sitting right beside you just "deals" with your problems for you. I mean how much easier can it get for us?? Whatever the outcome, job or none, I am leaning on God. Only He can carry us through. Not friends, family, co-workers, just Him. We will over come this. You can't overcome something until you've gone through it first.

I don't know what my future has in store for my family but I choose to lean on Him and allow him to guide us where He sees fit. I pray for His will not mine. I pray for the peace and understanding in everything that happens.