Ok. It's been a long time since I've blogged but I have a heavy heart tonight and decided to get some things off my chest. Growing up my mom and dad did what they could to provide for us. It wasn't always easy due to my dad being born without sight. He really couldn't keep a job of any kind or his handicap made it harder for him to even get one. We moved alot growing up. Alot of times people would ask us if we were "military brats" after telling people how many times we moved states. The reason being was that my mom took any teaching job she could to keep our family provided for. Thanks mom, now as an adult and mother, I know what that means.
My husband on the other hand didn't have that lifestyle. He grew up on a farm in a very small town. Both his parents were able to work and have worked for the same company for most of their lives. Now, my husband is being told his fate with his work. He has worked for the same company for 20 years now and for some reason they seem fit to let his position no longer exist. What does that mean for us? Well, for one, we are faced with so many decisions that as an adult I didn't think I would have to make. I now know what my mom felt. I have to sit with my husband and children and tell them that we have to move. I know the feeling they will have as a child being told this. The " we can't move, what about me and my friends" , "what about school". I know the questions that they will have....I had the same ones. Whether they are as innocent as "will the dog go with us" to as grown up as.. "what do I do since I'm entering junior high next year", they will all be the same level as importance to each of them. I know now what my mom had to face. I know what my mom felt as she had to tell us once again we were moving. It wasn't her choice to do it...it was the only choice she had, to provide.
I have been involved in a bible study group lately and tonight...the night before my husbands big job announcement it says...."Pray this week that the Lord will open your eyes to his next renovation project. Then ask God to give you the humility to accept the truth and a teachable heart toward the changes you must make." WOW. I've come along way in "learning" to lean on God through EVERYTHING. Giving everything to God is hard to do. Sometimes I think of it as a sign of weakness on my behalf. 'I can't handle it so let me just opt out and give it to Him.' The crazy thing is ......He WANTS us to. WOW...again. It is amazing to think that someone you can't see sitting right beside you just "deals" with your problems for you. I mean how much easier can it get for us?? Whatever the outcome, job or none, I am leaning on God. Only He can carry us through. Not friends, family, co-workers, just Him. We will over come this. You can't overcome something until you've gone through it first.
I don't know what my future has in store for my family but I choose to lean on Him and allow him to guide us where He sees fit. I pray for His will not mine. I pray for the peace and understanding in everything that happens.
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As Christians, we are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; struck down, but not destroyed. Going through problems is one thing, going through them with God...that helps us get through those things that are bigger than us and with more strength than we thought we had. All because of HIM! And we find our strength in God. Check out this scripture:
ReplyDelete"Are not two sparrows sold for a cent? And yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Therefore do not fear; you are of more value than many sparrows." Matthew 10:29-31
Pretty kewl, huh? He has numbered our hairs! that's how important we are to Him. You're important to me too and whatever happens, I'll always be here for ya.
This is so awesome. I can't believe you always complain that you can't write.
ReplyDeleteAs I sat and listened to you at bible study, I was overwhelmed with emotion and awe at your passion for God. I have always said that the one word I use to describe you is "passionate" Your passion for God, your husband, your kids, your family, and (thank God) your friends shines through like a neon light. I may be older than you, but I look up to you in the way you love unconditionally.
I have had the pleasure over the last almost 11 years of watching you grow into an amazing woman, wife, mother and friend. We have both grown up together, and I have enjoyed every moment of the journey and look forward to the rest of the trip. You and our friendship has gotten me through so much, and I thank you for that. I thank God for you each and everyday, and I never want to take what we have for granted. No matter where you are, know that I am in your heart and just a phone call away.
I have also had the pleasure of watching and sharing in the growth of yours and Jasons marriage and love. As corny as it sounds, I have watched you two fall in love over and over. I know that as long as you hold on to what you have and lean not only on God but each other, you will all be fine. It will not all be easy or fun, but no one promised us it would be.
Love you---and am here for anything you need anywhere and any time!!!